Whether you have lost your job or want a change in your present job situation, the fact remains that you are about to face a shift in your career, a transition which can at times be very difficult to deal with if you do not get the proper guidance! A transition in your career can be a boon or a curse depending on your choice and your adaptability to your new job.

The new job responsibilities, the new work pattern, the new atmosphere and new colleagues together can make the new job very difficult for you if you have not been prepared to cope with it all. This preparation is exactly what a career transition coaching gives you. It deals with both the emotional aspects of job transition as well as guides you in finding the job direction that is most suitable for you!

Each individual is gifted with certain skills and talents and the choice of one’s career should be based on these skills and talents.

A wrong career can ruin your life whereas a right one can help you prosper like you had never thought of before! But how do you make the right choice? The answer is through a proper career transition coaching that will help you to recognize your strengths and help you to develop on these strong areas and accordingly will show you the right path to step on.

Though this might sound easy and you might think that you can prepare yourself for the transition in your career on your own, it is not exactly so. The experience and knowledge of a professional coach plays the most important role in shaping your future! So it is recommended that you take the aid of a professional instead of doing it on your own.

Moreover, most career transition coaching nowadays provides one to one teaching, which makes it much more effective. It builds up your confidence by educating you on exactly what the employers want which helps you to stand out from the mass. They also give you the right guidance on all job related areas starting from how to face questions in an interview to how to negotiate your salary. These tips are highly valuable and you realize their importance as you start applying them in your job life.

Not just career tips, a career coaching also assists you in recovering from post job losing trauma. Losing a job can be mentally very stressful. It can cause loss of all interest in improving your career. It can lead to unnecessary fear and nervousness. A job transition coaching keeps all these in mind and gradually brings you out of such situations.

So, instead of trying your own hand at it and messing things up for a lifetime, take the help of career transition coaching and rejuvenate your life with a blooming career!

7 seconds. Just 7 seconds. Recent studies have shown that is all the time you have to make an impression (good or bad) on a potential employer. Knowing this, it becomes apparent just how important a good resume is. Unfortunately, many job seekers don’t realize this fact – to their own peril. There are 5 basic mistakes that every job-seeker should avoid.

5 Steps to a Quality Resume
Step 1
The first, and most important, is also the easiest to fix: poor writing. Things like typos, misspellings, verb tenses mixed and sentences butchered. A potential employer will not struggle to get through your resume. He will simply toss it into the “circular file.” Your resume must be easy to read; 7 seconds, remember?
Step 2
Second, you need to use an easy-to-scan format; something a potential employer can glance over and have key details stand out. You should limit the amount of fancy formatting you do. Just because you can manipulate all of Microsoft Word’s functions doesn’t mean you have to show it here. Keep it clean and simple. What you should have are the four standard sections: Objective, Summary, Work History and Education. Put enough detail in to sell yourself but no more.
Step 3
Third, and this is closely related to formatting, do not over write. This is a trap all amateur writers fall into. The best authors know less is more, and what works for books works for resumes too. Too often resumes have huge paragraphs of text explaining every single detail about their current job or even the company they currently work for. Employers and recruiters are not going to wade through volumes of text when they have another 100 or so resumes to get through. They need to know quickly and easily what you have done and what you can do. Most often a short bulleted list accomplishes this best.
Step 4
Fourth, you need to tell potential employers what you are capable of doing. Often, people simply list the job specs. Those could apply to anyone who has held that particular job. It is not singling them out as different, better and more capable than the rest. List your achievements, what you have done above and beyond, not just the job requirements.
Step 5
Fifth, there is more than one type of resume. While just about every job seeker writing their own resume tries to make their professional life fit a chronological format, it simply is not the way to go for everyone. A skills-based resume allows one to focus on abilities and potential, rather that just past achievements. An education-based resume allows employers to see your training in detail; this is especially useful for recent graduates. There really is a resume fit for every person. Experiment a little bit, and find the style that fits you best.

Follow these five rules to avoid the mistakes of you job-seeking ancestors. A well-written resume is your first and best chance to make a good impression on potential employers. Make yours count. Remember, 7 seconds goes by awfully fast.

Can you imagine any competition, serious endeavor, an Olympic athlete or top performer in any field where a coach, consultant or mentor is not employed to achieve excellent results? That is why sports coaches, fitness coaches, executive coaches, sales coaches, life coaches and experts are sought. They provide the strategy, tactics and best practices to quickly and easily achieve results.

Yet on many career blogs you will see that, usually to save a few dollars, people often insist on doing their own resumes and their own interview prep without using any type of career coaching. While this do-it-yourself approach may result in finding jobs, in today’s competitive world it usually means a longer job search or a suboptimal result. The questions to ask in a buyers’ market are: “How can I get a competitive edge?” and “How do I win this resume game?”

Are you a job seeker facing this highly competitive, more demanding world? Have you experienced how the new systems, technologies, and the economy have made the hiring process much more complicated, impersonal and time consuming? Much to the job seeker’s frustration, it has become a distinct two stage competition – first: the resume competition and second: the interview process.

Perhaps you’ve tried to reach the hiring manager and tried to sell yourself into an interview. Maybe you’ve left multiple messages to the recruiter in HR to follow up on the resume that you submitted. It’s difficult to get any personal response. So your resume is forced to do your selling for you.

So how can you get an “edge” using a “resume coach”? Here are some facts:

When thousands of resumes are searched by recruiters, if you’re not on page 1 or 2, you’re probably not even in the running. A poorly qualified candidate with an elegant, professional looking resume may get called for a job interview, while a stronger candidate can be left behind because of poor resume aesthetics or subpar presentation, and no one will ever know. It’s a one way street. A poor resume might generate a 1/20 interview ratio, while an exceptional resume should generate a 1/6 ratio or better. Resumes are often read with a negative bias. “What is this candidate missing?” As a longtime recruiter, 50% of the resumes that I screened were poorly written. About 40% were average and only 10% were effective selling resumes. Most resumes are narrative, unfocused and are not “selling resumes”. A Selling resume is at least 31% more likely to land interviews, 40% more likely to receive a job offer, and 38% more likely to be contacted by recruiters, compared to an average resume. A Selling resume is about 70% more likely to get interviews than a poor resume. So in order get an edge in the paper competition, your document can’t be just a resume —- but a Selling Resume!

Since many of us do not have sales experience, and are too close to the topic to really sell ourselves objectively, we need to consult a sales-oriented advisor, a “resume coach” to guide us in the presentation. A selling resume is not about “you “, but about “how you can help solve a problem”. Every job exists to solve a business problem. Your resume has to sell you as a solution.

There many sources of resume information, “misinformation” and outdated advice in the marketplace. Poor results, even after spending a lot of money, are not uncommon. Here are the choices:

Free resources and resume templates that rarely yield an exceptional resume. Most of these resumes never clear the Applicant Tracking Systems that recruiters and companies use. Resume builders and free sources don’t care about quality or uniqueness. They usually just want a resume for their primary purpose and agenda, or it’s merely a “freebie” service leading you in to entice you purchase other products or services. HR recruiters are limited to their own experience. Agency recruiters simply can’t spend the time. They take an average resume and try to present it with their own write ups – their own elevator pitch – in hopes of filling jobs that they will get paid for. It’s easier than rewriting your resume and honestly, they don’t have a real investment in your career if it doesn’t serve their immediate purpose. When we do it ourselves, without specific coaching, we rarely create a selling resume because we are too close to the topic and too distant from the hiring process. Are we the experts? A professional resume writer can produce good, average or poor results depending on their skills & background, and price is not necessarily an indicator of quality. The blogs are full of mixed reviews. Since this is a lifelong skill, the best choice is to seek out the proper guidance and advice so you can quickly learn to craft and tailor an exceptional resume whenever you need it throughout your career. A resume also becomes a branding tool for social networks where you are checked out and found by recruiters. Who would be the best sources for a Resume Coach?

If you want to win the resume game, your resume must be a selling document. Therefore, a talented career coach or third party recruiter, who understands both sales and the recruiting process in your field, is the most obvious choice. Paying for their time and guidance is a minor investment compared to the upside and the results it could yield. Ask yourself — if your job search is even 2 days shorter, your job offer is $2000 more, or the position obtained puts you on a faster track, is there a better investment for your career?

Why invest in a professionally written resume?

In a perfect world, interview candidates would be selected based on their strength and experiences. In reality, this isn’t how the process works. Typically, a recruiter chooses the short list of candidates from a pile of resumes. The trick is to be on the short list.

The Rise of the Machines!

Don’t assume your resume will be read just because you sent it through. Resume tracking software used by HR departments is a unique technology. This filtering system allows HR recruiters to set certain keyword parameters, about 30,000 keywords in all, to find the most qualified candidates for their searches. A great way to pass this first test is to partner with a Certified Professional Resume Writer who is trained on how to effectively keyword optimize your resume. Without it, your resume may never be seen by a human.

The Human Eye!

You made it. Your resume is finally in the hands of a human. Better make sure the next 10 seconds matter. Yep, you guessed it; candidates are selected or discarded in about 10 seconds. If your resume doesn’t capture the recruiter’s attention immediately, all of your years of hard work and education are wasted.

It has always been my belief that resumes get chosen, not candidates. To make matters worse, most people struggle to put themselves down on paper effectively. That’s where certified writers flourish. Resume writers are experts in presenting professionals in a concise and meaningful way. Countless studies have proven that professionally written resumes get more interviews, and, if it shortens your job search by even one day, a professional resume will pay for itself.

Hiring managers need to eat!

Bam – just like that it’s down to 3 candidates. Awesome! You better make sure you have given the hiring manager something they can sink their teeth into.

One of the most important elements to a winning resume is its ability to provide value. There is no better value, at least for hiring managers, than quantifiable key achievements. This may be the single most important reason to invest in a professionally written resume. This is also what separates you from the competition.

Examples of well-written key achievements:
- Successfully avoided client service level agreement (SLA) penalties of $100K by implementing and executing configuration management and quality assurance processes that resulted in the highest level (99-100%) audit score ratings.
- Substantially increased overall customer service by 35% through a 100% delivery on commitments and by proactively solving the customer’s business issues instead of merely delivering on a project.
- Oversaw an $800M budget that included development, management, adjustments, and management presentation. Year-end closed with less than 2% variance.

What does your resume say about you?

Here are some top resources that you can use to investigate possible career options.

1. Trade organisations

Look for organisations or bodies that are related to the career choices you are interested in. For example, if you are interested in project management then there is PMI (Project Management Institute) and APM (Association for Project Management). If you are interested in Marketing then there are organisations like The Chartered Institute of Marketing and the Direct Marketing Association. A quick search for the type of industry and the word bodies will normally get you plenty of lists.

These organisations are normally delighted to help out with information on their particular trade and may be willing to put you in touch with members who will be able to tell you a lot more about it.

2. Trade fairs and shows.

Look for shows and fairs that relate to your areas of interest. These events will have lots of people who are very knowledgeable and normally happy to share that knowledge with people who show an interest. Not only is this a great way to find out more but you can also start to build a network of people in the industry that, if you decide this is the career for you, could be of great help when it comes time to find a job. The down side to this option is that you may have to travel as these shows can be few and far between.

3. Local Government Offices

Local Government requires a massive spread of disciplines and it is quite possible that the career you are interested in is practiced somewhere in the local government organisation. Not only that but they have careers advice services that can help you find out more about any career that you have an interest in.

4. Your personal Network

How many people do you know? How many people does each of them know? How many people does each of those people know? Let’s say that you know 10 people (and I bet you know more than that). Let’s say that each of them knows an extra 10 people and each of them knows an extra 10 people. That’s 1,110 people. What are the chances that someone in that 1,110 people knows something about the career you are interested in? Use your network to find out more.

5. On-line forums

Nowadays there are forums for just about everything on the internet. Most of the time these are populated by people who are passionate about what they do and only too happy to share advice and knowledge. Search for “(your career interest) Forums” and I bet you will find a great amount of potential advice.

Ralph Goldsmith is a New Insights certified life coach of high distinction and an experienced developer of individuals in both business and personal environments. New Wavelength Coaching works with individuals supporting and facilitating lifestyle, relationship and career changes and with businesses empowering growth, increasing profits, building team motivation and confidence and developing management and leadership capabilities.

We actually want you to be honest.

I see too many job applicants who approach the interview as if their only goal is to win a job offer, losing sight of the fact that this can land them in the wrong job. Think of it like dating. This means being honest about your strengths and weaknesses and giving the hiring manager a glimpse of the real you, so he or she can make an informed decision about how well you’d do in the job.

We pay attention to the small stuff.

Frequently, I see candidates act as if only “official” contacts—like interviews and formal writing samples—count during the hiring process. They’ll send flawless cover letters and then check up on their applications with sloppily written E-mails with spelling errors. Or they’ll be charming and polite to me but rude to an assistant. I pay attention to how quickly a candidate responds to requests for writing samples and references, and even how fast he or she returns phone calls.

We want you to ask questions.

I encounter many candidates who don’t have many—or even any—questions when I ask what I can answer for them. Your interviewer wants to know that you’re interested in the details of the job, the department, your prospective supervisor’s management style, and the culture of the organization. Otherwise, you risk signaling that you’re either not that interested or just haven’t thought very much about it.

We’d like a thank-you note right away.

E-mail is fine for this and has the advantage of arriving faster, but handwritten notes are still appreciated (and are increasingly unusual so will stand out). And if there are multiple interviews, send a thank-you note each time.

We’re hoping for some enthusiasm.

Commonly, job seekers are too worried about looking desperate. It doesn’t look desperate to express your interest in the job or check in to ask about the hiring timeline. However, enthusiasm does cross the line if you are calling more than once a week, calling earlier than the date they said they’d get back to you, sounding like you’re eager to take any job as opposed to this one in particular, or appearing as if this is the only option you have.

We need to know your real weaknesses.

Claiming that your biggest weakness is perfectionism and you work too hard is disingenuous. It looks like you’re avoiding the question. Candidates who can’t or won’t come up with a realistic assessment of areas where they could improve make me think they’re lacking in insight and self-awareness—or, at a minimum, just making it impossible to have a real discussion of their potential fitness for the job. I want to know about your weaknesses not because I’m trying to trip you up, but because I genuinely care about making sure you’re a good fit for the job.

You should address being overqualified in your cover letter.

If you don’t acknowledge it, we’re afraid that you’ll be bored, that you don’t understand the position, that the salary will be too low for you. We need to hear things like: “At this stage in my career, having a job I enjoy is more important to me than salary. I have no problem earning less than I have in the past.” Or, “I want to move into this field, and I know that I need to start at a lower level in order to do that.” Or, “I wouldn’t take a job I’m not excited about.”

Your resume objective usually hurts you.

Your resume gets tossed when it lists an objective totally unrelated to the position I have open. Really, just get rid of the objective altogether. It rarely helps, often hurts, and always takes up valuable real estate that could be better used to showcase your accomplishments. If you want to talk about your career objective and how this position fits it, use the cover letter for that.

The phone interview is not a casual chat.

While the interviewer wants to get a sense of your personality, a phone interview is still an interview, not an informal phone call with a friend. Don’t sound stiff, but don’t use the same tone you’d use to talk about your date last night. I’ve phone-interviewed candidates who I’m pretty sure were lounging on the couch, watching the game with the sound down, and snacking while we talked.

You shouldn’t count on our job offer.

Whatever you do, don’t let up on your job search, no matter how confident you are that an offer is coming. Things change; other candidates come along; plans for the position evolve or even get canceled. Until you have a firm offer in hand, you have to proceed as if you don’t, since ultimately you can control only your side of the process—so keep setting up those other interviews.

We may check references beyond your list.

Simply not listing that person as a reference isn’t enough; Reference-checkers can call anyone you’ve worked for or who might know you, even if they aren’t on the list you provide. In fact, smart reference-checkers will make a point of calling people not on your list, because presumably you’ve only listed the people most likely to present you in the best light.

We don’t like being stalked.

When you’re searching for a job, enthusiasm is a good thing. But some job applicants cross the line from enthusiastic and proactive to obnoxiously aggressive—and, in doing so, kill their chances at a job offer. You have crossed the line if you are doing any of the following: Checking on the status of your application daily; calling and hanging up when you get voice mail, over and over; cold-calling numerous employees in the same company.

Some of us actually care about candidates.

One of the biggest complaints I hear from job seekers who write to me at Ask a Manager is about companies that don’t respond to job applicants: no rejection, nothing. Personally, I think it’s inexcusable—throughout the hiring process, but particularly after a company has engaged with an applicant in some way, like a phone interview or an in-person interview. It’s callous and dismissive and lacks any appreciation for the fact that the candidate is anxiously waiting to hear an answer—any answer—and keeps waiting and waiting, long after a decision has been made.

You can gain an edge with your cover letter.

Individualize. Yes, it takes a lot longer than sending out the same form letter over and over, but a well-written cover letter that’s obviously individualized to a specific opening is going to open doors when your resume alone might not have. These account for such a tiny fraction of applications that you’ll stand out and immediately go to the top of my pile. And I’ll give you an extra look, even if your resume isn’t stellar.

You can be too early to the interview.

Many interviewers are annoyed when candidates show up more than five or ten minutes early, since they may feel obligated to interrupt what they’re doing and go out to greet the person, and some (like me) feel vaguely guilty leaving someone sitting in their reception area that long. Aim to walk in five minutes early, but no more than that.

You can leave the subjective descriptions off the resume.

Your resume is for experience and accomplishments only. It’s not the place for subjective traits, like “great leadership skills” or “creative innovator.” I ignore anything subjective that an applicant writes about herself, because so many people’s self-assessments are wildly inaccurate and I don’t yet know enough about the candidate to have any idea if hers is reliable or not.

Your resume should answer one key question.

The vast majority of resumes I see read like a series of job descriptions, listing duties and responsibilities at each position the job applicant has held. But resumes that stand out do something very different. For each position, they answer the question: What did you accomplish in this job that someone else wouldn’t have?

New grads need work experience.

I receive all too many resumes from recent grads who have literally no work experience: nothing, not internships, not temp jobs, nothing at all. Find a way to get actual work experience before you leave school. Do internships every semester you are able, so that you have experience on your resume. Paid, unpaid, whatever it takes. If a part-time job of a few hours a week is all you have time for outside of your classes, that’s fine. Do that. No one will hire you? Find work experience as a volunteer—that counts too.

We think a lot about your personality.

You might not get hired because your working style would clash with the people you’d be working with. Often, one personality type will simply fit better into a department than another will, and that’s the kind of thing that’s very difficult (if not impossible) for a candidate to know. Remember, it’s not just a question of whether you have the skills to do the job, it’s also a question of fit for this particular position, with this particular boss, in this particular culture, in this particular company.

We want you to talk in interviews, but be concise.

There’s always at least one otherwise-qualified candidate in any hiring round who kills their chances by being too long-winded. You might think, “Well, some people are long-winded, but it doesn’t mean he wouldn’t do a good job.” The problem is that, at a minimum, it signals that you’re not good at picking up on conversational cues, and raises doubts about your ability to organize your thoughts and convey needed information quickly.

Be honest in interviews, but don’t spill about a bad boss.

You’re far better off explaining that you’re looking for new challenges, excited about this particular opportunity, taking the time to find something right, and so forth. I’m not crazy about advising someone to be anything less than forthright, and I don’t normally recommend it, but in this area, the potential for giving an employer an bad impression is just too great to do it safely.

Provided by:
Wall Street Journal

The number of job openings grew in April, indicating a continued loosening of the job market after the worst downturn in decades. Employers had a seasonally-adjusted 3.1 million openings on the last business day of April, up about 300,000 from March and about 800,000 from last summer’s trough.

Industries seeing the most growth included education and health services, which saw openings rise 7% from last month, and professional and business services, which grew about 24%. Government job openings saw the largest contraction–about 8.5% fewer public sector jobs were available in April than were available in March.

The slowest growing region in April was the South, which saw openings rise by about 6%, while the Northeast, Midwest, and West saw increases of between 12% and 16%.

“We’re definitely seeing a brighter outlook, but not near a rubber-band snap back,” says Rich Milgram, CEO of Beyond.com, a network of 15,000 niche career websites.

Entry-level jobs posted on Beyond.com’s network increased 80% between the first quarter of last year and this year, with engineering, healthcare, and information technology industries faring the best. High-paying, managerial roles saw more tepid increases, indicating that employers are choosing to fill cheap positions first, Mr. Milgram says.

Even though the number of openings has grown, it can take three to four months before increases in openings start to translate to increases in actual hires, Mr. Milgram says.

Soliant Health, a staffing firm for the health care industry, has seen requests from companies for nurse practitioners and physician assistants triple in the last year, says president David Alexander. Retailers, many of which have opened clinics inside their stores, and companies conducting in-home clinical trials have been among employers showing the most demand, while pharmacy technicians and licensed practical nurses, who don’t need as much training as registered nurses, have been hard to place.

A majority of states saw their unemployment rates drop in May. But the widespread declines were mainly because people gave up looking for work and were no longer counted.

The unemployment rate fell in 37 states and the District of Columbia, the Labor Department said Friday. Six states had increases and seven experienced no change.

Forty-one states and the District of Columbia saw a net increase in jobs. But that reflected national data showing a huge gain because of government hiring of temporary census workers.

Nevada now has the highest jobless rate in the country, marking the first time in more than four years that Michigan did not hold that distinction. Nevada’s rate climbed to 14 percent. Michigan’s fell to 13.6 percent.

Nationally, the unemployment rate dipped to 9.7 percent in May from 9.9 percent in April. But the drop was largely because hundreds of thousands of jobless people stopped searching for work.

A total of 431,000 new jobs were added across the country in May, the biggest gain in a decade. Still, the surge came from 411,000 temporary census jobs. Private-sector job growth slowed significantly.

Big states led all others in job growth. Texas saw a net gain of 43,600 jobs, California was up 28,300 and New York rose by 21,000.

Nevada’s jobless rate rose from 13.7 percent in April. That state has been hurt by the collapse in housing and a downturn in tourism.

“Tourism is always one of the areas hardest hit during a recession,” said David Wyss, chief economist at Standard & Poor’s in New York.

Unemployment in Michigan, a state hurt by the troubles in the auto industry, fell from 14 percent in April. Michigan had had the highest monthly unemployment rate in the country since April 2006.

Wyss said the new report did not show any major changes overall in state trends.

“In general, the band of states between the Mississippi River and the Rocky Mountains are doing relatively well while the worst hit states remain the housing bubble states and manufacturing states around the Great Lakes,” he said.

North Dakota continued to have the lowest unemployment rate in the country at 3.6 percent. It was followed by South Dakota (4.6 percent) and Nebraska (4.9 percent).

By region, the West reported the highest regional jobless rate at 10.9 percent, unchanged from April. The Northeast had the lowest rate at 8.9 percent, also the same as the previous month.

Unemployment in the South stood at 9.4 percent in May, down from 9.6 percent in April. The jobless rate in the Midwest was 9.7 percent, an improvement from 10 percent in April.

Some words and phrases are often used to buy time, avoid giving answers, and escape commitment. If you use these words and phrases yourself, take a scalpel and cut them out of your thinking, speaking, and writing.
“Try”
“Try” is a weasel word. “Well, I’ll try,” some people say. It’s a cop-out. They’re just giving you lip service, when they probably have no real intention of doing what you ask. Remember what Yoda says to Luke Skywalker in “Star Wars”: “Do or do not–there is no try.” Take Yoda’s advice. Give it your all when you do something. And if it doesn’t work, start over.

Put passion into your work, and give it your best effort, so you can know that you did all you could to make it happen. So if the outcome you were expecting didn’t come to fruition, it’s not because you didn’t do everything you could to make it happen. It just wasn’t the right time for it or it wasn’t meant to be.
“Whatever”
This word is a trusted favorite of people who want to dismiss you, diminish what you say, or get rid of you quickly. “Whatever,” they will say as an all-purpose response to your earnest request. It’s an insult and a verbal slap in the face. It’s a way to respond to a person without actually responding. When you say “whatever” after another person has said his or her piece, you have essentially put up a wall between the two of you and halted any progress in communicating. It’s a word to avoid.
“Maybe” and “I don’t know”
People will sometimes avoid making a decision–and hide behind words and phrases like “maybe” and “I don’t know.” There’s a difference between legitimately not knowing something and using words like these as excuses. Sometimes during a confrontation, people will claim not to know something or offer the noncommittal response “maybe,” just to avoid being put on the spot. If that seems to be the case, ask, “When do you think you will know?” or “How can you find out?” Don’t let the person off the hook so easily.

“I’ll get back to you”
When people need to buy time or avoid revealing a project’s status, they will say, “I’ll get back to you,” and they usually never do. If people say they will get back to you, always clarify. Ask them when they will get back to you, and make sure they specify the day and time. If they don’t, then pin them down to a day and time and hold them to it. If they won’t give you a day or time, tell them you’ll call in a day or week and follow up. Make sure you call and get the information you need.
“If”
Projects depend on everyone doing his or her part. People who use “if” are usually playing the blame game and betting against themselves. They like to set conditions, rather than assuming a successful outcome. People who rely on conditional responses are fortifying themselves against potential failure. They will say, “If Bob finishes his part, then I can do my part.” They’re laying the groundwork for a “no fault” excuse and for not finishing their work.
There are always alternatives, other routes, and ways to get the job done. Excuse makers usually have the energy of a slug and the spine of a jellyfish. You don’t want them on your team when you’re trying to climb Mt. Everest.
“Yes, but . . .”
This is another excuse. You might give your team members suggestions or solutions, and they come back to you with “Yes, but . . .” as a response. They don’t really want answers, help, or solutions. You need to call the “Yes, but . . .” people out on their avoidance tactic by saying something like “You know, Jackie, every time I offer you a suggestion you say, ‘Yes, but . . . ,’ which makes me think you don’t really want to solve this problem. That’s not going to work. If you want to play the victim, go right ahead, but I’m not going to allow you to keep this up.” After a response like that, you can be assured that the next words you hear will not be “Yes, but . . .”!
“I guess . . .”
This is usually said in a weak, soft-spoken, shoulder-shrugging manner. It’s another attempt to shirk responsibility–a phrase that is muttered only when people half agree with you but want to leave enough leeway to say, “Well, I didn’t really know. . . . I was only guessing.” If you use this phrase, cut it out of your vocabulary.
“We’ll see . . .”
How many times did we hear our parents say this? We knew they were buying time, avoiding a fight or confrontation, or really saying no. It’s better to be decisive and honest by saying, “I need more information. Please present your case or send me the data–both pro and con–so I can make an informed decision.” That way, the interested parties will contribute to an in-depth, well-researched “verdict.”

A toxic boss–the type that bullies you, criticizes everything you touch, and makes you wish for an invisibility cloak every time she walks past your office–is not a person you can easily forget. Or get over, even weeks or months after you’ve parted ways.
Being subjected to a constant stream of negative feedback takes its toll and grinds you down to the point where you eventually begin to believe, “Wow, maybe I really do have zero talent. Maybe a child could do my job better.” It’s called buying into the brainwashing.

Cut to the point where you come to your senses. That is, you were fired or you quit. Regardless, the hardest part is moving beyond the experience and rebuilding your ego so you can walk into your next job and not feel like you have a kick-me sign on your back or a deer-in-the-headlights mentality every time you get an e-mail from your new boss.
“My first boss hated me so much that I think I must have killed her mother in a former life,” says Alexandra Levit, syndicated columnist and the author of several career books including “They Don’t Teach You Corporate in College.” “She raked me over the coals. … But it’s true in life that we have endings that are not ideal, and just like any relationship, it’s important to get closure in order to put it behind you.”
You’ve got to let go
In fact, the sooner you can let go of the anger and resentment, the better shape your head will be in, says Mark Goulston, M.D., the author of “Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.” “Even if your gripes are legitimate, continuing to blame your boss turns off others and will quickly cause people to lose respect for you,” he says. Not the desired outcome.
So while you can’t ransack her office (tempting) or change the past, you can learn from the ordeal of a toxic boss, points out Harvey Mackay, a business advice columnist and the author of “We Got Fired! … And It’s the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Us.” Begin with an often-used stroke on your keypad: delete. Get rid of any reminders of her, including old e-mails and memos.
Take the high road
Don’t let your anger or bitterness get the best of you. Before you leave the job–or soon thereafter–take a moment to send your boss a quick note or email with your new contact information, mentioning also that you hope you can stay in touch. No matter if you never hear back; at least you did your part. Also, take the high road when people ask you about your former boss. Gossiping and bad-mouthing him bring back negative thoughts and doesn’t serve your reputation in the long run, says Mackay.
Assess your own behavior
It’s worth examining how and why the employer-employee relationship turned so sour. Forget about her tone of voice and hooded eyes. The real lesson is: was there a kernel of truth in your boss’s criticisms about your organizational skills or lack of leadership? If so, make the internal change so you don’t carry those things over to your new job.
In the wake of this self-assessment, take the time to also focus on what you’re good at. “After I left my job with a bad boss, I took a personal development class, and it really helped improve my confidence and how I was presenting myself to others,” says Levit, who recommends Dale Carnegie leadership seminars. And the more you can get some positive feedback from your new boss, the more confident you’ll feel. Ask for a three-month review and weekly check-in, and other ways to keep the lines of communication open.
Finally, Goulston offers this sage piece of advice: “Holding a grudge is like swallowing poison and hoping it poisons the other person.” The best revenge in this case is wishing your boss well with no hard feelings–and really meaning it.